It is one of those songs that i can listen to over and over and over.
because it is just so beautiful. every note played is in the perfect place.
I love it.
someone played it at our ward talent show tonight. it was fantastic and reminded me how much i love the song, so I hope you enjoy it too.
Would you like to hear about my day?
(i'll pretend like you're saying yes)
I woke up 7 for the worlds WORST field trip.
we went to West Yellowstone to look at rocks. I am sure I would have loved it in the spring time. But I am not a fan of standing in the stabbing wind for prolonged periods of time.
but maybe thats just me.
i got home at 3:30. yes that is a 7 hour long trip. mostly in a bus. kill me.
but then I got home.I got a letter sent back from my friend joe (he's in the army) earlier this week. and I was so mad because It said i had the wrong address and I thought "how the heck am I supposed to send this to him when i have no way to contact him?"
boom. light bulb.
I remembered in the last letter he gave me a cell number and said when he gets out of boot camp he can use it. so i called it and he answered!!
I wasn't expecting an answer. I got to talk to him for a while and it was probably the highlight of my week.
But anyways then we went to the talent show and some guy danced to two songs like Michael Jackson. it was pretty legit.
.the end.
(i wish there was an ice cream man in rexburg.. raise your hand if you agree!)
That is what yesterday was.
I felt inspired , by so many people, in so many different ways.
isn't it funny how you can give advice to people, telling them it will all be okay because you see the magnificence of their being. You know God has them in his hands, and that there is no way he would let that single person feel hurt for no reason. because you see the beauty in them.
Yesterday we went to Last Poet Standing on campus. and to be honesty i was leery of going because i have never enjoyed poetry. in school I would dread when we had to analyze a poem. the rhythm, the rhyme.
picking apart someone else's words until we find meaning.
last night was different. These people have a way with words.
the ability to cut into your heart and make you feel something by the phrases they speak.
it blew me away. here are some of the performances I was able to find online from last night:
and here is the winning poem of the night:
I dont know how you can listen to these and not feel anything
I want to be able to write like this, I want to learn how to convey what I feel by the words I speak.
I hope you enjoy those videos and I hope you are inspired to write. like i am.
My good friend jameson needed models for his photo class so he asked us!
(i love having photographer friends)
here's some of the pics:
Living in this college town its only normal to get discouraged once in a while.
not because you don't do as well on a test as you hoped.
and not because you don't get along with roommates.
and not even because your jeans are fitting a little tighter then you remembered..
none of these. (although these do cause slight discouragement)
This school causes discouragement because i am 19 (going on 20) and i am not engaged. or married.
(gasp)
In any other part of the world other then this bubble of Rexburg and surrounding areas of Utah 19 would be an absurd age to get married. But here, I am 19 and i'm feeling old. I'm starting to worry that I've missed my chance and that i'm doomed to the fate of being an old maid.
I live with Amazing girls. I have wonderful friends. Nothing is wrong with them. they will make wonderful wives and mothers someday, but this campus has instilled in their minds (mine included..i'll admit it) that there is something wrong with is. Something that makes us un-date-able. we walk around thinking we are unfulfilled unless there is a man next to us or a rock on our finger.
Today in class my teacher shared this quote by David o. McKay
"When you meet a woman (man) in whose presence you feel a desire to do your best, to live a life at your highest and best self, such a woman (man) is worth your love"
BAM light bulb moment right there. I think that in every single one of my past relationships/mishaps I have lowered myself. not being my best self because those guys didn't desire to be the best (they had good desires yes but not focused) thats why it didn't work out. Neither of us inspired the other to be the best, we were happy with who we were at that point because frankly it seemed good enough for the other person.
enough of that. enough enough.
We are good enough. there is nothing wrong with us. and my man is probably in Africa...or New Zealand.. or maybe even Detroit. when i meet him I want to be worthy of his love.
Today i have had a roller coaster of emotions and feelings and ideas.
I feel so uneasy. I can't explain the feeling.
but first let me show you a song that captures how i feel exactly this second:
I am usually one that tries to make my blog posts positive. Because I don't want be negative, and I don't want to shout at the world Hey Over here! i'm misunderstood feel bad for me!
but today I feel like a lot is fighting against me being happy.
So here is a brief rant:
1. boys acting like girls. why are you so dang sensitive sir? but seriously.. he is more of a girl then ANY of my roommates. and the mood swings are draining.
2. Boys acting like boys. I don't understand how you are so incredibly stuck on yourself and i don't understand how just when i'm done.. when i realize that underneath your skin you are repulsive.. you send me a text and the cycle starts over. not like you realize or care. I wanted to be friends in the beginning. But thats out the window now. 3 weeks and you are out of my life forever. thank goodness.
3. The hurt of relationships. This doesn't deal with me.. But to a couple of my close friends this week. the sting of an ended relationship. and looking at them.. it makes me upset because I see how perfect and flawless these two are, why don't they? Why do we all have to get hurt? And lastly what is the point of putting yourself out there when chances are (at least in my eyes) you are going to be the one in the end hurt. and confused.
4.Do you notice these are directly/indirectly about men? (get your priorities straight carissa)
Now because I wrote three negatives I will write positives. because life isn't that terrible. (seriously)
1. my friends/roommates. Holy cow they are all in my life for different reasons and i am so thankful for each and every one of them. for example just now I ran into my roomie's room ranting about a certain boy being a girl. she calmed me down and even offered the idea of a craft tonight. (i am a sucker for crafts) and she is gorgeous. look at her!! And we went on a bike ride yesterday! to the park. the simple things are the best.
2. words with friends. I AM ADDICTED TO THIS GAME. it is unhealthy. I am constantly draining my cell battery. But then i rationalize it saying that I am building my vocabulary. But I really just want to beat everyone. I want to dominate and then I want to rub it their faces at later times.
3. The fact that i got not 1...but 2 jobs this weekend!! you know what that means? I'M MOVING TO UTAH!!! this summer! are you excited for me? guess what the best part is? I am working in the floral department. its the perfect job. at least i think so now. And i will be in Salt Lake area meaning concerts galore!! i am really going to have to watch my spending.
look what we made:
Pumpkin cream cheese muffins. they were divine. now they're in my belly because they were so divine.
holy cow. today i had to wake up at... brace yourself....6 am.
ouch. i'm feeling the pain. because you see, i am not a morning person.
I get cranky, and short tempered, and when i wake up before 8 i spend the day feeling like I was run over by a semi-truck. its no bueno. I feel bad for those who have to deal with me.
its kind of funny because last summer I worked at a gas station. (best job ever)
i had the morning shift. meaning I had to be at work at 5:30 am EVERY day.
It was killer. I would come home and sleep.
sleep, work. sleep (repeat x's 5 days a week)
But that was my favorite job. it was so funny.
Speaking of jobs..
tomorrow is my interview in utah!!
me and Lo are leaving tonight, and we are going to eat here:
ZUPAS!!
It probably is the best restaurant in the world. I wouldn't exaggerate.
If you ever get the chance, you should go there.
i get to see my wonderful sister today! I am so excited!
hello bloggity world out there!
These past couple days have been stressful/awesome.
monday: for FHE we went and saw the "bodies" exhibit
it was really cool! I wish I knew more about the human body though. my amazing roommate took anat and phys so she was pointing out all these differennt things, basically looking like a super genius. I love her.
(warning: the baby room was so sad. I couldn't stay in there very long)
Tuesday: lazy lazy day! I decided I didnt want to go to the library to do homework..so I didnt! i sat at home, lounged around and relaxed (not smart, i have to make up for it now) but it was lovely while it lasted.
funny how things happen. right now my goal is to take all sorts of risks. I'm Young, I'm in college. live it up...right? we'll see on that one.
I want to make these:
Maybe someday i'll get married and this could be a decoration?
p.s. I know i'm extremely boring today. but if you could see me you wouldn't think the case. I'm wearing sparkly tights. (kind of makes me feel like ke$ha) yikes.
Thats what I am. Its been far far too long since i've been on here. and a lot has happened.
not necesarily a lot of important things, but life has happened. and with that there have been changes.
1.I cut my hair.
Like 3 inches off, i wanted to grow it long. but instead i made an impulse decision and well...haven't regretted it yet!
2. yesterday an amazing girl named marissa booth did a photoshoot! and i got to be in it! it was SO fun :)
check out some of the pics:
Aren't they just fantastic? i'm in love with every single one. It was a lot of fun. I think people need to have photo shoots more often. just sayin'
3. I'm moving to utah this summer! I am super duper excited/ terrified! I'm going there next weekend for a job interview. keep your fingers crossed for me!
4. Do you feel like you're at a turning point in your life? where you could go two very different directions? either will take you to a good place. but how do you decide? I feel like I can go many routes at this point. and it scares me. but with faith in Christ I know he wont let me go too far away from where I need to be.
5. I'm trying to be more positive. I have always been told that its up to me to make it a great day. but sometimes I feel like the world is adamant on knocking my ice cream cone in the sand (doesn't that make you sad just thinking about it?) quit being so bi-polar carissa. things will be alright.
6.Last night I went to a bonfire. and on the way out there we got to drive through HUGE puddles. let me tell you i LOVE puddles. everything about them, i think i liked that more then the fire :) but the stars were phenomenal. living in rexburg i forget about stars because its so overcast all the time but last night.. ahhhh.
7.you're getting sick of reading eh? sorry, i keep babbling on. but let me tell you, i love my friends. every single one.
