Meep

Life is hectic sometimes.
I feel like I am in this hectic destructive cycle where all I do is try to keep up with homework. constantly. and when I finish my homework for that day...boom i start stressing about homework for the next day, or a project due two weeks from now. its time like these where I wonder if college is even worth it.
....
..
....

ok I know it is. But its rainy outside. and I love the rain. I just want to put on my sweats and curl up on my couch and drink cider.
I do NOT want to sit in my business statistics class and listen to the teacher drabble on for an hour and a half about standard deviation and parabolas.

on a happier note here is a song that i like.

Rexy burg

I haven't posted in about a month. I cant believe its been that long. A lot has happened.
I'm back here in rexburg going to school, living the dream..... here are some pictures of my last couple weeks of summer:

Chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake... delicious.

SKYDIVING

now i suppose I should go do homework.. or something productive. 

I guess..

oh my.

I'm counting down the summer. only a few more weeks and i'll be back at school

Right now I feel like school is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.. but i know that once i get back into the grind of school I'm going to be longing for the carefree days of summer.

But anyways this week:

I made an Earring holder.

All I used was a screen(from a window), ribbon, buttons, spray paint. oh and a hot glue gun.

Also yesterday my sister and I went to a Progressive dinner and it was very interesting...

all the people in her ward that were from latin countries cooked food from their native countries. we went to a house and had Guatemalan food. it was pretty good. But the diamond in the rough of food last night was this baby:

White Corn Guacamole

we snatched the recipe and made our own batch today

White Corn Guacamole

Ingredients:

-1 avocado, Diced fine

-1/2 cup sweet white corn

-1/4 cup black beans

-1/4 cup Jicama , diced fine

-1/2 cup onions, diced fine

-1/2 of one red bell pepper, diced fine

-1 handful of cilantro, chopped

-1 lime

-1/2 teaspoon of salt

Combine in a medium bowl, serve with tortilla chips

try not to eat the whole bowl in one sitting: that's the hard part.

Motives

I was once told that "guys and girls can never become just friends. they may end up being just friends but at some point somebody on one end had motives" I thought this was ridiculous. and I don't think its true.. but then i got to thinking and I guess its possibly true. They may not be romantic motives.. they may be selfish motives like "hey they drive a nice jeep wrangler. I like those cars. i want to ride in it" boom friendship formed because of that reason. When you get to meet the person a lot of times those initial motives melt away. But it made me sit back and think upon the relationships I've developed. I wonder what caused them to want to get to know me better.

I think its interesting.

I liked this video too.
There is so much world out there to see. It makes me want to take a semester off and travel.

we'll see...

connections

Recently I have felt this need to improve myself. I have all these ideas and desires of the person I want to be, the talents I want to develop. But the fear of failing has kind of held me back. I want to write again.
Use a pen to put my feeling in verse form. or poetry that can connect with someone. Hit them in the pit of their stomach and echo in their heart.

 I know I have it inside me to do these things, whats holding me back. why do I feel stifled?

On another note. Music- Why is it so hard to find deep lyrics? okay I have no problem finding them in the music that I listen to but mainstream... (don't get me wrong, i often enjoy a jam session singing mindlessly to ke$ha with my sister) but i worry for the people that radio is their only culture. The songs are often two phrases repeated over and over until it burrows its self into your brain and you're humming it all day. catchy, yes.. but are you musically fulfilled?

I guess what i really want to say is, listen to what connects with you. be who you desire the most. and dont let fear hold you back.

I'm currently enjoying:

obsession

What makes you happy?

My life goes through cycles. Not necessarily cycles as in happy sad but in the things I like to do.

I go on reading kicks for two weeks at a time where that is all I do. 

Or maybe i'll go on a baking spree, force feeding my experiments to my friends..

But do you want to know what my favorite one is?

DIY kicks.

Nothing feels better then finishing a project hanging it on a wall, placing it on a table ect. and it looks legit.

people tell you that you should sell them. or that you're intense.

I think its so interesting how every single person in this would in one way or another feels the need to create.

Maybe you write poetry, or you paint. maybe you are just really good at making a salad. but nothing beats that feeling of looking down and the pure joy you get from the thought that hey I made this. and it came from my heart. and soul and brain and somehow i processed the idea and used my hands and it came out to be this. (at least that's how I feel)

I love the DI. I love the fact that people take stuff there believing it is junk and then i can go stumble across it, and rework it into something that is me.

I can not wait to have my own house that I can decorate just the way I like. 

I feel the best when i'm creating. I feel like its something I was meant to do. it really hits you when you haven't don't something creative in a long time... and then you get this rush and anticipation and excitement, and then when you finish the project your scour the internet looking for more projects. 

on a separate note all together...I want these:

TOMS

This ones for you.

You know who you are.

Today was hectic. Its one of those I want to crawl into a ball on my bed and turn on City and colour onto repeat on my ipod and just listen. and pretend to have some deep thoughts pass through my mind (in reality i have about 5 things that make a cycle in my thoughts.) i'm not telling you what they are, don't even try to get it out of me.
 One thing i have thought about lately is going back to school and new roommates. I've decided to be adventurous and drop myself into an apartment with knowing nobody. I've had good and bad roommates. frankly i get along with just about everyone. whats one of my biggest concerns? What if my roommate has sucky taste in music and blasts it. what if she likes nickleback? how long will i try to stand the atrociousness (is that a word) of the garbage they call music??  I'm sure she will be awesome.

hopefully...

This blog post was lame.

The end

My life

If you cant read it, it says "the time for meeting and mingling is up. you have one hour to choose an eternal companion. Good luck. -The bishopric"

They didn't really write that but I thought it was hilarious.

On a more positive note, I'm going on a vacation! my friend (pictured above) and I are going to San Francisco! how exciting is that? August 10th. i'm counting down the days.

Sweet Summertime

This Past week I got the opportunity to go home! all the way to beautiful Hayden Idaho.
Don't believe me? Take a look-sees:

I am willing to bet you that it is one of the most beautiful places in the world. and now my family is a proud owner of a 9 foot polar bear named Bob.

My grandpa Larsen hunted it in the 1960's and he traveled hundreds of miles from California to his new home.

Welcome Bob!

I am back in utah, and although I have things to look forward to this summer it feels like every day is bound and determined to last an eternity.  I am excited for school and the new adventures that I am sure to have but I just hope i'll be able to make it through the next couple months.

Oh and i did this really really really stupid thing called giving up sugar. I know I cant do it. Its just SO HARD. especially working in a grocery store. I've been eating baby carrots for lunch for 3 days straight. but sugar is do delicious. I cant stop thinking about it. I even got so close to eating some cookie dough. Its frozen in the freezer and I snuck to it and had it almost to my mouth. looking around as if someone would catch me doing something truly terrible. Finally my conscience got the best of me and I angrily shoved the treat back in the bag.
Do you realize how much "no sugar" limits you? I cant even think of baking.. I would be far too tempted.

I give myself 3 more hours.

I am currently listening to this song on repeat:

A day to breathe

Today is my first day off in a week. I am exhausted and my brain hurts. I don't know why. It feels like its been trying to process everything that's been happening in my life lately and its just hit a breaking point. Or the excessive amount of tv i watched today rotted it away.

I want to go on a walk. Through a garden. I want to lay underneath an oak tree. lay on a quilt. Eat green grapes and raspberries out of the container. I want to leave all my cares and worries at home. I want to breathe in the clean crisp air as I watch the sun fall and melt into the horizon. I want to watch the stars appear. uncovering their radiance like i'm scratching away the paint that once stifled their beauty. I want to lay there with someone, talking for hours and then let the comfortable silence set in where we can lay there without saying anything. I want to pick apart the grass. gather it in the palm of my hand and then throw it in the air like it is confetti. I want the sunburn on my skin to keep me warm when the night air descends on us.


Please dont die-

Night Hike

Last night I did something I don't think i'd usually do.
I went on a night hike. It was a full moon so we didn't have flashlights. only the moonlight to guide our way.
It was a really hard hike. I was so tired at some points but then at the end when we were up at the flag I felt so accomplished. looking at the view of the city was awesome, it made you feel so small.

I kept thinking about how there are so many people out there and yet i'm here with a group of 8 friends, what in my life has lead me to that point? its cool to think there is so much out there and even though you might be out of your comfort zone (i have been a lot lately) its worth it. the experiences i've been having I wouldn't trade for anything.

View from part way up the hike (i found these pictures online obviously because its not dark)

                                               View from the top!

I thought i'd be so beat today but i'm not sore at all, its weird.

Tonight:taking back sunday concert!!! yeah!!

Hot

Today I had to train to be a cashier at my work. the training consisted of sitting in a room with 8 other people watching a powerpoint for 7 whole long hours.

Now that i'm home i want to make something amazing to eat. like this:

I'm pretty sure all it is is graham crackers with chocolate ice cream and chocolate sprinkles. 

boom. delicious treat. its that easy. 

i'm so thankful for the sunshine and the fact that it is finally nice out side! oh and the peonies are finally blooming in our yard!  

Fear, and the simple things.

Today I wanted to write a little bit about two subjects that seem to be everywhere in my life.
I'll first touch on the  topic of fear.

 I think that up to this point in my life I have lived in fear. Not fear of anything in particular but fear of fear. Fear of missed opportunities, fear of saying something (or worse not saying anything at all) I wonder how different our lives would be if we lived without fear. Living here has really opened my eyes to the fact that we are who we are, if people don't like you for it then move on because there are more people out there that do like you ( unless you're hitler or something) and tell the people that you enjoy being around that you in fact enjoy being around them. Boom step one to a happier life.






The second topic is simplicity. So I want you to close your eyes and picture this. I am sitting in the break room eating some goldfish and looking out the window when all the sudden boom thunder and lightning storm.

 If you know me you will know that one of my most favorite things are lightning storms ( i love the smell,the energy, the unpredictability of it all) anyways there is a kid sitting next to me and we were just talking when he points out that lightning is just all these particles and its them smashing together and that makes lightning. He was going all scientific on me so i rudely interrupted him and asked why cant people accept things like lightning for the beauty it is, why do we feel like we have to analyze and pick apart every single thing in this life? why cant we accept things for what they are? then he looked at me like i'm crazy and i went on eating my goldfish. the end (you can open your eyes now. although i just realized your eyes were open the whole time because you read all of that. silly me) Back to my point... I have the gospel in my life. I know that i'm doing the things I need to be. I know i'm where I need to be at this time. and as long as i'm doing that the Lord wont let me completely mess everything up. so I need to stop worrying about everything and enjoy the simple things  in life.. like lightning and goldfishies.

365q

I found this website The 365q  JULIAN BIALOWAS is an amazing photographer that takes pictures and then he writes inspirational or simple phrases on them, I'm really bad at explaining so i'll let you take a look-sees. I want a giant poster full of these.

I Love them!!!

The sun starts to shine

This week it has finally started to warm up. thank goodness. I've forgotten how much the sun can do to lift your mood. it gives you an excuse to get outside and enjoy life again.

Me and Kenna at a family picnic

(thankful for the maggio family embracing me into their family)

(Dane,me and their new puppy Hiro-who i love)

Tonight I went and saw the new X-men movie. I was not a fan. it was entertaining I suppose.

The night sky

Do you ever wonder why you are where you are? why you have met the people you have.
Why have the relationships that you take time to gently craft either fail or thrive?
Why did one thing work out and another doesn't?

Do you ever wonder who on this earth you were destined to inspire?
who has been placed in your path so when you rub shoulders it doesn't impact just you but it impacts them just as much.

Makes me want to be my best self at all times. because when it comes down to it, when all the material possessions are stripped off all you have is yourself. Your soul and the essence of you is going to shine through at the most minimal moments like going through a grocery store check stand.
Sometimes I feel like I am a tiny speck in this ocean of people. how can I make a difference?

Who will you inspire today?

woopsies

Its been almost a month since i've been on here!
life is as normal. i work a lot but I like my job and the people I work with.
I have some friends now! (you can all breathe out in relief)
I want more friends of course but in all due time.

I am terrible at writing blogs. I just dont anything really interesting to say.

I long to learn to play the guitar.I curse cassidy for taking it this summer.

I want to find a man and play/sing songs together.

This is the band "cataldo"  I think he's just lovely.

Happy Birthday- Your car was stolen

Yesterday was the big 2-0! holy cow I AM SO OLD! I woke up and bret, my brother in law (who knows of my past addiction to mountain dew and current love of it) decided my birthday treat was one bottle of each flavor.

how thoughtful right?

But today was a day that scared the cheese outta me. I have grown up in a small town my whole life. small enough that we dont really worry about locking our car doors, and most people dont lock their houses.
so last night we went to the cheesecake factory for dinner. in order to conserve cars we decided to leave my car in my sister's scrubs store parking lot and she'd pick it up and drive it home that night.
my grandma came with us, isnt she cute? :)

We got a cake from Cakes du Fleur Deeelicious. seriously, if your're ever in the SLC area and want a slamming Lemon cake....hit.them.up. you wont regret it
So we decided to leave the car there overnight and we were going to pick it up today. We were running errands in SLC when we finally made our way to the scrubs store. right before we got to the store i was like am, "what if my car is just not there" and then we turned into the parking lot and it was gone. nowhere to be seen. I was in shock. my mind was blank. HOLY CRAP SOMEONE STOLE MY CAR. 

Her store is kind of in the ghetto. but I locked the doors. I didnt know what the heck I was going to do. my brother in law was going to file a police report and i was just sitting there about to cry/throw up.

But apparently the landlord of their business center didnt recognize my car and he saw it there at around 11 pm so he took it upon himself to call a tow company and have it towed. there wasnt a towing sign or anything. I was just relieved that my car wasnt stolen by some hoodlums. So we had to go pick it up in the ghetto. but my cute little amigo is safe and I will never leave it alone for more them a few hours again!

velvet

today I wore velvet pants.
they look like this.
...
I cant find a picture online. so think of skinny jeans.
black skinny jeans.
now imagine them made out of soft soft velvet and boom there you go.

I started work today (thats why I got velvet pants.. makes sense? yeah, no)
I work at Harmons. in the floral department.
i. washed. buckets. all. day.

it was alright. I just HATE training, i hate how you are on edge and nervous all day, how you dont know what to do and you dont want to mess up so you ask a million questions and then you feel stupid so you stop asking questions and you make everything up.

Yeah it was fantastic.

but on the bright side. look at my fantastic little finds I made at DI

Clip ons. vintage. cheap. I was elated when I found these!

also, we made this cake!

And by we i mean bret and am did, I made the spider though. he is vicious. I put fangs on him.

Anyways I realized that living here means I am going to constantly be out of my comfort zone. because I know nobody. and I wont meet anyone unless I try, and by trying that means I will be out of my comfort zone. Its a terrible little cycle actually.

But i'm making progress.

I'm 20 in 2 (almost 1) days. Holy. Cow.

Ellie!

That is the name of my sisters puppy.

That is her. now dont let that adorable face fool you. she is demonic. ok, thats a lie she's pretty good except for when she's hyper and she runs around and around and around the couch for no reason. its quite comical and i'm sure with my lack of friends, she will be sufficient entertainment for the summer!

Yesterday I went to the zoo!!

I LOVE the zoo!!!! i got to see elephants and monkeys and even two camels.

and I went with my friend nate so the company wasn't bad either.

yay for it being summer! :)

Hello all,
I am an official utard, by location only.
I am all moved into my sisters house.
I'm kind of nervous about this summer. mostly about the me not knowing anyone part. But i hope I make friends soon.

To keep myself busy I have taken up some projects. Me and my sister made some deee-licious cupcakes

It was a sunday and we weren't all stocked up to bake so we modified a cake mix recipe. We used chocolate cupcake mix and added chocolate chips and a cup of sour cream. this made the cupcakes super moist. we then filled them with raspberry jam and made a raspberry buttercream frosting. We are baking machines.

Be prepared to see more of our creations.

I also made some art to hang on my wall. its fabric with masking tape and then i spray painted and and put it in a frame. boom. art. cheap decoration too :)